He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize
