sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
