Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Randomize
