she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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