so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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