if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
i've created a new STD.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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