He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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