Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
