I murdered the dance floor call the cops
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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