I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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