my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
