So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
