Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
