My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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