I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
