I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
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