i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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