I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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