So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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