i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
