I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
