So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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