We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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