How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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