im about as happy as oj after his trial
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
