were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
you made out with another girl for some wings
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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