I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
