She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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