North Korea, Best Korea!
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
