i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
should my penis look like a turkey
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
