she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
