I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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