They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
