I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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