I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
