Say something about gay babies.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I will pee on everything he values.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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