he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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