Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
