I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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