New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
