are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
