Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
