I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
