Your dad touched me again.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
