i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
