he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
