but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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