i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
