Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
