who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
